Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
