Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
