new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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