My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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