So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
