grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
