My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
