he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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