What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
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