It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
