Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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