Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
