Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
