dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
