dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
