All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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