I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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