Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
