i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
