You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
