im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
