She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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