No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
