I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
