Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
