Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
