Do vagina's smell?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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