just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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