I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
