But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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