The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
