; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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