tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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