I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
