Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
