if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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