Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
