Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
