I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
