he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
