Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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