I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
