You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
