I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
