so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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