I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
