Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
