you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
