k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
