Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Randomize
