I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Randomize
