is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
