is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
