Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
